Last Day Before Takeoff!

Ahhh, the joys of packing! Or in my case, the joys of it being 11PM and I have not packed the first thing. To be fair, jewelry, make-up and passport, rent check and plane ticket are all packed, just nothing else. A girl has her priorities. It's been a hectic few days the AoY. Down to South Carolina to watch the Shamecocks lose to UGA (complete with WAYYY too much BBQ, pimento sandwiches, mini pigs in a blanket, egg salad, cheese ring, more pimento cheese, venison, Charleston BBQ, SC BBQ, more venison, Chik-Fil-A, something else with cheese, cookies, and S's (in)famous "chicken juice" whose main ingredient appears to be alcohol). If you cannot identify any of the above items, well that's a shame. We polished off an afternoon of socializing, shagging (US version!), and stuffing with a rooster's crow followed by a shot of Fighting Cock.

Ahhh, Fighting Cock-A cross between the rotgut sailors used to drink, moonshine, paint thinner and nitroglycerin, FC is guaranteed to warm you on a winter day, cut through any surface including concrete, and render you fighting mad and itching to beat up on Clemson fans. Its amber color lulls the unsuspecting into thinking they are partaking of whiskey or sweet tea only to emerge from their glass with watery eyes and curly hair. It has been known to make grown men gag and shudder and the ladies are inevitably the only ones who take their dose without complaint. After this parting 'shot' (no pun intended) it was back to Mama's for more unpacking, shrimp Creole and French Silk Pie (yet more food, apparently Southerners fear the next siege at any moment). One walk with Holly later and it was time for the post-loss nap.

It has been a lot of good byes in a very short amount of time. As I mentioned to my old roommate this evening, everything happening lately has been good but that doesn't make it any less hard. If ever I felt a gap between my friends at home this weekend uncomfortably shined a spotlight on the fact that I will never slide seamlessly into the Saturday tailgate extravaganza much less Columbia life. Would I want to? Probably not but it's one more good bye I wasn't planning on. Saying goodbye to Holly, my puppy dog of 10 years, was definitely one of the hardest because I couldn't explain why I was leaving. She always knows when I'm getting ready to go again because she will not leave my side (this gets awkward when the shower curtain is nosed aside while your back is turned), will steal things from my suitcase, and in general lets her ears droop down to the vicinity of her jowls, which are still bulging with my mascara or hair band. Then she tries to really behave, as this will stop me. Finally, as I lug my bags to the door she stands there and just leans into me as I hug her without jumping, crotch-sniffing or using her windshield-wiper-sized tongue to clean my face off (her ways of expressing love I guess). But this time she just stands there and lets me hold on and the very lack of annoying habits makes it even harder to let go. My biggest fear is that she'll do something stupid like run in front of a bus or get sick before I make it home the next time (do all pet owners feel this way?).

The weekend before in DC meant more hugs and toasts (some I'd like to forget I think) but every since I've been gone new buildings have gone up, businesses have shut down and roads have developed new craters near the Memorial Bridge (just for fun). Tonight in Charlotte was a quiet dinner at home and I of course compensated for the mix of sadness/panic by acting a tad bitchy and snarky (sue me, I'm a little blue-mea culpa).

Ok! Maudlin sad time over! Let the weird shit begin! On the Top Five for the past few days:
1. Found out what "mews" are-small neighborhood type areas. Am seeking confirmation.
2. Was asked out on a date by CMPD. How? One word: FedEx. I went to pick up my visa/passport from transit hell and was vainly trying to remember my 12 digit tracking number and simultaneously explain to the FedEx agent, who bore a VERY striking resemblance to James Gumm from Silence of the Lambs, that I really REALLY needed my passport to leave the country when a voice behind says: "Well there goes my plan to ask you out for Tuesday." Thinking he was joking (it was too much like something out of a mediocre chick flick novel) I turned and spotted the pretty cute guy I had eyeballed upon his arrival a few minutes previous. As I called home for the third time to confirm my tracking number I heard him relay that he was picking up the package for his mother (how CUTE!), correction (mother-in-law, what?!?!) because his sister-in-law (ahhh, okay-his brother's wife's mother, CUTE again!) was at work. For ID he showed his CMPD badge (face it ladies, if a man must be in good physical shape as part of his job requirement, he gets bonus points off the bat). As the two of us finally confirmed that while FedEx might say "Pick up package from FedEx office" what they really mean is: "You weren't there, will deliver again the next day, don't bother coming to the office as your package will be back on the truck for you to not be home, AGAIN, and we can do this for three more days" we did the "well, if you're ever back in Charlotte"/"too bad I'm leaving" awkward goodbye between two strangers who have just survived a traumatic event together (eg-package retrieval-no THAT kind, gutter brains!) he walked out (yes I looked, he clearly runs, a lot). Ahh, unrequited post office love. Onward!
3. As a sidebar, I must mention that the reason for the pseudo-date solicitation was probably due in a large part to the postage stamp sized skirt I had worn that day (I was one of THOSE people, the ones that clearly do not own a 3-way mirror allowing them to see every bulge of cellulite that would then convince them that no, thank you very much, your miniskirt days are O-V-E-R). This became much more funny when I went to the doctor's office and at some point (probably between one of the 3 waiting chairs I sat in to get a tetanus shot) one edge of my skirt tucked itself up into my unmentionables (in simple language-I partially mooned 3 nurses). Do I notice a draft? Of course not. A nurse walked up and handed me a note that read: "It appears that a piece of your skirt has gotten tucked into your underwear. Thought you might want to know." While I appreciated the discretion my face quickly approached searing temperatures as I attpempted to slyly re-adjust without falling off the slippery vinyl. I really, REALLY wanted to run from the building and not show my face in public for a week but at the mature age of 24 decided that while yes, I will be THAT GIRL for the next year or two, hopefully no one will remember me by name or face (please God. I'll let ya'll know in 9/2007).
4. As if #3 weren't odd enough, I had to get a tetanus shot. Now my friend W. got one for her trip to India and swore that it didn't hurt as badly and I didn't remember my last tetanus shot hurting at all. I think I've figured out the mystery. Body Fat Index. I have more body fat and God is punishing me. 3 days post-injection and I still have a walnut/hot spot at the injection site. It was super-fun hauling around furniture and clothing when I couldn't raise my arm over my head. Add to that Mama pounded me on my right arm no less than 3 times in one evening, making me think that she had been waiting for that shot for years as a small payback for chipping her tooth as a toddler (it's brought up every time she applies lipstick in a mirror near me; ask her about saddle shoes, she'll replay the story).
5. It's now midnight-I leave in about 20 hours and I STILL haven't started packing. But I do have my address cards ready to go, my CDs organized by genre and my lists of things to do all in order. Oh, I have #5 1/2-I'm flying on September 11. My friends have literally all decided that I am insane and this is further proof that I should be chased down with a butterfly net and tranquilized before I harm myself. I LAND on September 12 people!
Night ya'll-tomorrow I'm London-bound, waiting to bestow good cheer and Southernisms upon the hapless residents of Philbeach Gardens (new home)!!!!!!!