So there are the standard 'You Know You're from NOVA When...' lists (or insert suburb, city, state) that indicate a high level of familiarity with the level of strangeness in your associated area. South Carolina, in all its blessed meglomania, has lists for the Upstate, the Midlands/Sandhills, and the LowCountry/Charleston-we're just that big and important (and shock and awe, we like breaking apart form the mainstream!) But at the state level things seem to disentegrate into the lamest and low common denominator of what it means to be from SC. Phrases such as 'You know someone who works at Hooters/You vacation at Myrtle Beach' (oh GOD, how tacky). Therefore, in the spirit of state improvement, the following is a list of when, perhaps, certain people know they are from South Cackalacky. I tried to do Charlotte, NC but could only get as far as 'You Know You Are A Lifelong Visitor of the QC When...'

1. Weddings, funerals and vacations are planned around football season (I say GAME, you say COCKS). God help you if this is forgotten.

2. You 'have/will abandon' or 'have been/will be abandoned by' your significant other in their time of need (labor, sickness, moving) because it was the first day of dove/deer/turkey/duck season.

3. Gone to the Carolina Cup? Please. You know what year it was by the outfit, the hat, your parking spot and just how intoxicated your parents or parent's friends became at their parking spot. You might have even been placed in the 'jail' (rope corral) or fallen in a Port-a-Potty.

4. You've been to Fort Sumter for a school trip and know the purpose for the big stone blocks littering the streets of Charleston.

5. Your first fake ID either came from the Underground in Atlanta or older sibling.

6. You shop in Charlotte unless it's a trip to Hotlanta, but Charlotte's better.

7. You understand the intricacies of selecting the best Waffle House.

8. You understand that driving into Georgia with SC tags is like flashing 'Open Season' to all troopers. Crying will not work in Georgia.

9. You seen the Grey Man and know about Alice's ring.

10. Pawley's Island hammocks make life worth living.

11. You attend First Week

12. Your first liquor drink at a bar came in a minibottle

13. At one point in time your job/life/in-laws hung on whether you supported USC or Clemson.

14. You met Strom.

15. You've been to at least three weddings of your peers before turning 22, or sent a gift if it was a football weekend.

16. You understand that flying anywhere means a connection through Charlotte or Atlanta.

17. You know people that never really leave the state, except for away games.

18. Church league basketball is a raison d'etre.

19. You went to one of the following: Camp Greenville, Tonawandah, Illahee, Camp Rockmont, Greystone, Sea Gull, Seafarer, Falling Creek, High Rocks, Kanuga, Merri-mac, Hollymount.

20. You went to a camp dance and perhaps had a camp boyfriend/girlfriend.

21. You've done Habitat for Humanity in the LowCountry.

22. There are four cities - Greenville, Columbia, Camden, Charleston.

23. You've made your debut, been a stag, or know someone who has.

24. 88% of your friends went Greek.

25. You know someone with one or more of the following names: Beau (Beauregard), Rhett, Savannah, Pinkney, Simms, Legare (that's Le-gree), Russell, Jackson, Heath, Carter, a double name (and they use both of them), a first name used as a last name.

26. You have done a geneology project an discovered where the bodies are buried (woohoo-Edgefield); there might even be a family graveyard.

27. Swamp Fox means so much to you.

28. You know damn well to get your liquor before 12AM on Sunday morning if you want to have brunch after church.

29. Church is more of a social event than anything else.

30. Sweet tea really does suit all occasions.

31. You got a driver's license at 15 without that pesky driver's education. You now have the insurance premiums to prove it.

32. You do know someone who was killed in a drunk-driving accident or has DWI'd. It probably scared you straight.

33. People are still 'not from around here' even if they've lived here for 30 years. Case in point-"Mabel Johnston Owens, 98, died in Summerville on Sunday. Mrs. Owens, of Albany, New York, moved to Sumerville in 1927..." Oh, and we WILL bring food for an army to your house after a death, birth, illness or move-in, whether you like it or not.

34. You know someone in Iraq.

35. You hope that Mississippi gets the 50th spot in education this year.

36. You can locate Capers an Dewees without a map, have chicken-necked or just necked there and nearly been swept out to sea on the tide.

37. You've gone on a field trip to the following: Peachtree Rock, a cotton field, the state fair, a working farm, the State Museum and the State House.

38. You wish that you'd bought more SCANA shares when Xmas time rolls around and you drive through Lugoff/Chapin/Rock Hill/Elgin/Harleyville and see the 500,000 christmas light natvity with bobbing reindeer, waving Santa, rocking Baby Jesus, and blinking Santa sleigh.

39. Ma'am and Sir are not an option. At least one of your parent's friends has grounded you or kicked your ass for doing something stupid. You have 20 sets of surrogate/adopted parents who don't mind if you show up for supper.

40. You speak a little Gullah. You actually know what Gullah is.

41. Rush's, Groucho's, the Kickin' Chiken, Lizard's Thicket, Maurice's BBQ-just to name a few.

42. You never buy tomatoes in the summer when everyone gives them away.

43. You are pretty sure you've gotten malaria or West Nile Virus at some point from all of the mosquito bites sustained over the years.

44. Hurricane = Part-tay. Snow = OH MY GOD! GO TO THE PIGGLY WIGGLY

45. Snow = There will be no generators, toilet paper, booze, candles, canned goods, water, coolers, or matches left in the State. Plus everyone with four-wheel drive will take the opportunity to test out their skidding powers.

46. I-20, I-77, I-26, Hwy. 326, U.S. 17 - Only roads necessary.

47. You've been to a farm party.

48. Tailgating is a marathon, not a sprint. You've taken shots of Fighting Cock and lived to tell about it.

49. The Piggly Wiggly is a real place- 'I'm Big on the The Pig'

50. Everything you own is eithe monogrammed or has the Palmetto flag/symbol on it and you get HIGHLY insulted if someone remarks or questions 'the bush/tree/shrub' on your person.

And.............the War of Northern Agression is NOT over. We're just takin a little rest.

South Carolina is clearly better than North Carolina. See all of the above.

Wow! So that list could have jsut gone on and on and on and on and on. There are so many truly unique things (okay, secessionist and strange) about this state, let me know if I've overlooked something vitally crucial!