This got quite the reaction and many of my brilliant friends had their thoughts to add on the topic:

From DM:
OK...I HAD to comment! There are actually several sidebars here
1. they are called 'tights' in this country because stockings are what you wear with a garter belt...side, side bar...notice I said garter belt not...suspenders which is what the brits call them; so never never NEVER go into the mens department and ask for suspenders for your husband....they are still laughing.
2. If they sold DKNY or Haynes they would be £18 a pair...no I am NOT kidding... fine 'tights' are anywhere from £18 - £25! AoY is clearly being a good girl on her budget...I, however, am not!
3. When they have runs in them several of my British friends have pointed out the "cut the one leg off each pair with the run" back to AoY's note...they are so fricking tight...can you imagine wearing 2 pair simultaneously...no #@!*#@*ing way!

From REP:
Ha...... Oh my god! Right now I'm just really glad that I will never, EVER have a job which requires me to wear panty hose, tights, stockings, suspenders, or any other crazy name they can come up with for them! I hate the American version -- can't imagine they could guess much worse, but based on your experiences, I guess they do.....

From HRK:
Hye AoY-- just do what I do, get a little crazy and go without...stockings that is... or if you get really wild (mom, shut ur eyes) go commando! its what all the smu girls are doing-- you'll save a bundle! Hah! I'm totally joking-- why not make fun of us while I still can?!

From MEC:
Wait a minute, our crotches are not supposed to be down by our knees yet?Just kidding! My main concern from this whole story is the fact thatyou have a job that requires panty hose every single day!

From HJR:
And I want to know why your e-mail is numbered #789 and why I have not received the other 788! Had I received those, I am convinced I would not require massive doses of medication to get through law school.

I think we should collaborate on a book entitled "Why You Need a Sense of Humor to Be Female". I KNOW it would be a bestseller. Lets create a bestseller, get rich, and then sit around never having to wear pantyhose again or anything item that remotely constrains one's bodily parts ... wait! I am doing that already!